Here's what's wrong with this track:
- Spectral content from instrumentation: Way too much high end, sounds shrill and I'm sure it damn near gave me tinnitus.
- Sub content: Very distinct lack of a good low end.
- Arrangement: Lacks a very good structure. There's an intro, a buildup and a drop-- all are present, but transitions are very, very weak. Very repetitive
- Mixing: Your drums don't cut through anything. No elements of the track respond dynamically to other parts and everything collides.
- Mastering: None at all.
I'm sorry that I can't say anything good about this track besides "hey, it's better than some of the tracks on here." Good luck.